Concept No. 3 | Unclenching Fists
Lesson in Letting Go
My Art Class Revelation
There are times when you walk into a season thinking you know exactly what you need, only to discover that what you really needed was to let go of what you thought you knew? That's what happened to me six months ago when I signed up for an accelerated figure drawing class at the Dallas Creative Arts Center.
I walked into that first session with confidence. After all, I've been drawing since I was young, running my own creative business since 2017. I know how to draw. I've always known how to draw. I was just there to refine my skills, to push myself out of what I was calling a "creative rut". I love drawing people—especially women—and I love providing live art services, so figure drawing seemed like a clear "yes" for me. Not to mention, it my first experience with live model drawing, which I absolutely loved.
There were good days in that class but then came the last day, when we were completing an illustration of a live model. But something happened. I couldn't complete the illustration in time. I found myself erasing constantly, questioning every line and decision. I was being so hard on myself, setting what feels like impossible expectations and then feeling overwhelmed when I couldn't meet them.
I came home frustrated and that's when it hit me: I was trying to control every part of the process. I wasn't allowing myself to flow, to just be with the art as it unfolded. I was holding myself back out of fear—fear of making mistakes, fear of my work not looking "the way it should," fear of imperfection.
Releasing Control to Find My Path
What I realized in that moment of frustration was wild and exactly what I needed: I had been the one holding myself back all along. I went into that class looking for something or someone to pull me out of my creative rut, when what I really needed was to get out of my own way. I had everything I needed already within me; I just wasn't allowing myself to access it freely.
This realization was about so much more than just drawing. It was about how I've been moving through my life as a wife, a mom, an artist, a business owner—holding all these roles while simultaneously going through my own healing journey, letting go of old ideas, and releasing the illusion of control I thought I had over my life. It was about unclenching my fist when it comes to my creativity and my work, and allowing what's meant for me to flow in, and what's not meant for me to flow out.
Since that day, I've been slowly but surely allowing myself to play, to explore, to just be as a creative and as an artist. I took another course at the Creative Arts Center, but this time with a completely different mindset. I made a promise to myself to truly be a student when I crossed that threshold—to release all control, to explore and play without judgment. And you know what? That experience was transformative. I learned so much more from my second round of art classes because I wasn't fighting the process anymore.
What I'm discovering in this stage of my creative journey is that there's freedom in letting go. In opening myself up to what God has planned, because as always, His ideas are better than mine. I'm at a point now where I only want to attract what God has chosen for me and who he brings on this journey to connect with and create for. Nothing more, nothing less. And to do that, I have to keep myself open to possibilities I might never have imagined for myself.
Studio Scenes
The last couple of weeks in the studio has been all about embracing the freedom I've been rediscovering. I've been practicing live art a lot—quick sketches of people from red carpet moments at award shows like the Oscars, the Grammys, and other events. What I am realizing is I love capturing the a person in just a few minutes, with no time for my inner critic to start the erasing game.
This is exactly why I love live art so much. It demands full presence. There's no time to overthink, to criticize myself, to try controlling the situation, or to erase anything. It's so in the moment, so present—and I feel like that's exactly what my spirit is yearning for in this season. That state of pure, unfiltered creative flow is why I'm drawn to live art now more than ever. It's teaching me to trust my instincts and my abilities in a way that more controlled work never could.
You can see some of these explorations on my Instagram—I've been sharing more of the process, the messy middle, rather than just the polished final pieces. It feels vulnerable but also liberating to share work that isn't "perfect."
Discoveries & Inspirations
What I'm Creating
I'm exploring figure drawing and portraits more deeply, as these subjects have always inspired me to create. I'm working with new mediums—graphite, charcoal, and different painting techniques—allowing myself to experiment without attachment to outcomes. There's a new collection forming through this process, though I'm not rushing to define when it will be "ready." Maybe spring, maybe summer—I'm letting the work tell me when it's complete rather than imposing a deadline. Being an creative entrepreneur has rush me a bit, I’m learning what my true pace is now and honoring that.
What I'm Learning
The biggest lesson has been about the difference between discipline and control. Discipline—showing up for my practice, creating regularly, honing my skills—serves my art. Control—trying to plan out exactly how something should look, erasing until it's "perfect," forcing the process—stifles it. I'm learning to embrace the former while releasing the latter. I think creating digitally has spoiled me and makes traditional art intimidating. With it, you don’t have much control but I am finding my way.
I'm also discovering how much richer my art becomes when I bring my whole self to it—not just the "artist" part, but also the mother, the wife, the woman on a healing journey. All these aspects of my life inform my perspective and strengthen my work rather than distract from it. Let’s just say we’re allowing it all to work together.
What I'm Struggling With
Honestly? Letting go is still a daily practice. There are moments when the old patterns creep back in—when I feel the urge to erase rather than explore, to control rather than create. The perfectionist in me hasn't disappeared; she tries to intervene but she's just taking a back seat more often. I'm working on seeing these moments of struggle not as failures but as reminders to take a deep breath and loosen my grip again.
I'm also navigating the vulnerability of sharing work that feels more raw, more revealing. Creating from a place of freedom means showing more of my true self, and that can feel scary sometimes.
Creative Prompt
This week, I invite you to choose any creative medium and commit to a 30-minute session where you absolutely cannot erase, undo, delete, or start over.
If you're drawing or painting, this means no erasers, no covering mistakes with new layers, no starting fresh on a new page. If you're writing, no backspace or delete key. If you're creating music, no stopping to fix "wrong" notes.
As you work through this prompt, notice the feelings that arise when you can't "fix" something you perceive as a mistake. Does it make you more careful? More bold? Do you find ways to incorporate unexpected elements into the work?
Share your experience and, if you're comfortable, images of your creation with me here.
Currently...
Reading:
"The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron - Revisiting this classic as I work through my own journey because it still gives. The morning pages practice has been especially powerful in everything I have discovered about myself the last year or so.
"The Husband's Secret" by Liane Moriarty - Recently finished this with a dear high school friend. While the ending left me wanting more, the real gift was reconnecting with my friend after so long apart. We listened together and caught up on life—such a beautiful way to experience a book.
Listening to:
Solange's "When I Get Home" - *clears throat* “I saw thiiiings I imagiiiiineeeddddd.” This album stays in rotation and now everyone under this roof knows the lyrics to her songs.
"Windows and Mirrors" Podcast - I love how Keith Pinckney & John Onwuchekwa navigates the Bible, discussing four chapters at a time. It helps me understand the Bible more deeply and review what I've read in my own study. I always listen after reading.
Watching:
"Severance" on Apple TV - I'm completely drawn into this show! Have you seen the intro? Apple TV makes the absolute best intros, and this one is my favorite. Can't wait for the next episode.
Live painting sessions on Instagram - I've been studying how other artists create, picking up techniques for rendering different patterns, hair colors, and textures. It's been so inspiring to see others' processes and incorporate elements into my own work.
Loving:
Charcoal pencils from General's - These have been a game-changer for me since my class, offering both control and wildness in the same tool.
Discovering gluten-free brands - I know, random right? Since letting go of gluten a few years ago to improve my health, I have been on a hunt for gluten-free brands and it seems that more are coming around. I have tried a brand, Capello’s, and they have so many options. I live for their buttermilk biscuits.
Upcoming Events and Updates
I'm excited to share some exciting events coming up where we can connect in person!
Brush Lettering Workshop
I'll be hosting a brush lettering workshop on March 15th at 3 PM.
You'll learn the fundamental techniques that form the building blocks of beautiful hand-lettered designs. This workshop offers more than just a creative skill—it provides a mindful practice that can bring moments of calm and artistic expression into your everyday life.
I am so ready to connect and be outside! I hope that you can join me!
Being a whole artist means embracing all parts of yourself and your journey—not just the polished, perfect parts, but also the messy, uncertain, evolving aspects. When we release the need to control our creativity and instead allow it to flow naturally from all that we are and all that we're experiencing, we open ourselves to possibilities far greater than we could have imagined or planned.
With so much love,
Melarie